After care isn’t an after thought
We spend so much time talking about sex itself — the turn-ons, the toys, the anticipation. But what happens after is just as important. That post-pleasure space isn’t a blank page. It’s a moment that can deepen connection, calm the nervous system, and make intimacy feel truly safe. It’s called aftercare, and it’s wildly underrated.
At its core, aftercare is whatever helps you (and anyone you’ve just shared a bed with) feel grounded and supported once the moment has passed. That might mean lying quietly together, asking how they’re feeling, sharing a snack, running a bath — or jumping in the shower together. It’s not about making things romantic or overly serious — it’s about staying human. Respectful. Kind.
Sexologist and educator Erica Smith puts it like this “aftercare is about creating a soft landing. It says: I care about how you feel — not just in the moment, but after, too.”
While the idea of aftercare originated in kink communities, it’s for anyone — no matter what kind of sex you’re having. Even in casual encounters or one-night stands, it matters. Maybe you won’t see the person again, but how you leave the space says everything about the kind of lover you are. A little care goes a long way.
One 2022 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that couples who practised aftercare regularly reported higher sexual satisfaction and stronger emotional closeness. Turns out cuddling and chatting post-sex actually makes your sex life better — who knew?
But it’s not just about couples. Solo aftercare matters, too. Whether it’s a toy, a fantasy, or something in-between, checking in with yourself after the fact is powerful. Ask: What do I need right now? Am I feeling good? Do I want a stretch, a nap, a playlist, a moment to journal? Listening to those signals is how we build trust with ourselves.
Aftercare doesn’t need to be elaborate or hard work. It just needs to be intentional. At Margo’s, we think of it as the art of coming back to earth — the wind-down that completes the experience.
So next time? Think about the finish. Not just the fireworks.
P.S. Want to bring a little more softness to the landing? Explore our Margo’s aftercare picks — for bodies, beds, and everything in between.are
